J. M. DeSantis

Handlebar Moustache Guide – Part 2

J. M. DeSantis's Handlebar Moustache Guide

As promised, so it will continue until I have covered the subject extensively (within reason, that is). As I wrote last week, this guide grew and grew as I began writing what was intended to be a single, brief blog post about growing, maintaining and styling a handlebar moustache. I’m still writing this guide even as of this blog post (I’m now around 3,000 words and counting), and so I haven’t the faintest idea how many parts the guide will be split into or for how long I’ll be publishing this guide on my blog. Considering its already unpredictable size, I suspect it will be some weeks still before the final part is published. Indeed, it’s quite possible this guide will take up the remainder of my blog posts for the year! No matter. I’m having a blast writing this thing, and I hope you’re enjoying reading it, as well (and getting some useful information at the same time). So without further adieu, I give you part two of my Handlebar Moustache Guide.

Growing Your Moustache

It takes patience and dedication to grow a handlebar moustache. After all, a good many of us are not blessed with the genes of a werewolf on a full moon; none of us will wake on a given day to a full beard after bedding down clean shaven the night before. It takes time. The exact length is difficult to determine, as it depends entirely on how quickly your hair grows. For a point of reference, this author cuts his hair once a month (I keep it short-ish). It took me roughly two months to get enough hair going to start twisting and curling the ends of it and five months to grow a full handlebar moustache. I would imagine most gentleman will find the four to six month range an accurate time frame for the growth of one handlebar moustache.

Now, how one grows and trims (or doesn’t trim, for that matter) their moustache during the growth period depends entirely on the style of handlebar moustache they wish to grow. Essentially, it boils down to two types of handlebar moustaches: one in which all of the hairs are grown out and combed into the curls or one in which the middle hairs are trimmed small, whilst the ends only are curled into the moustache. Whichever style one decides upon is entirely dependent upon their personal preferences and patience. After all, the fuller version does take a considerably longer period to grow out. I myself opted for the latter of the two above described.

Whatever the case, and whatever a man’s choosing, the advice of this author and many others who have written such guides in the past is to resist the urge to trim your moustache at all costs until the moustache has fully matured. It is impossible before this to know exactly which hairs to trim or the exact length said hairs should be until one has hairs long enough with which to work.

That said, no moustache grows naturally in the direction of outward curls (or whichever direction you wish your curls to grow), and so it is essential to comb your adolescent moustache daily. This will not only help to train the hairs to grow outward rather than downward and to create a part in the middle (if desired), but also it will help keep the moustache looking clean and attractive during the growth period. After all, it is hardly imaginable that any man’s desire is to have facial hair which has the look of a tangled weed growing off their face, and if it is, mind you, no one will find that attractive. Verily people may avoid you no less than if you were a carrier for the Plague. So comb your moustache hairs every day, and do be sure not to ignore your head hair or at least wear a hat. No one likes a disheveled gentleman, moustache or not.

< Go to Part 1 | Go to Part 3 >

J. M. DeSantis

J. M. DeSantis is a writer and artist (Write-ist). He is best known as the creator of the medieval Indian fantasy heroine, Chadhiyana. DeSantis has also authored a number of short stories and artworks, mostly in the fantasy, horror and humour genres. He is also the writer and artist for the humorous web-comic, Gentleman Cthulhu: Emeritus Moribus Monstrum (gentlemancthulhu.com) and the writer and owner of this blog.

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